TEAL is the new black.

Unless you are a family member or a very close friend of mine, then you don't know my struggles of infertility and dealing with PCOS.  For those who don't know what PCOS is, it's PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome, and it affects more women than you may know.

September is PCOS Awareness month and I wanted to share MY story with you.  It's not going to be pretty and I'm not going to sugar coat anything.  Over the last couple of years, I have learned so much more about this disease (and YES, that's what it is!...again, not sugar coating it for you) and how it not only affects me, but other women.  I'm a member of a discussion forum specifically for women with PCOS, especially those who are TTC (trying to conceive).  That is where the infertility comes in.  Having PCOS doesn't mean that you will never have children; it just means that you will struggle to get pregnant, and you may not be able to do it naturally.  That is the part I hate the most.

My story begins at the age of 14 or 15 (I just remember being a freshman in high school) and I had started having irregular periods.  I made an appointment with a local OB/GYN who was female (because I was more comfortable with women doctors).  After a routine pap, the only thing I remember her telling me was that I needed to have surgery to have my ovaries removed.  At that age, that's not what a girl wants to hear...especially if at some point in her life she wants to have children.  I refused, left...and never went back.  Fast forward to 2007 (at the age of 20) and I decided to once again give an OB/GYN a shot to see why my periods were irregular..and when Mother Nature did decide to visit, she made me suffer for anywhere from 9-12 days!  I had seen my family doctor for routine paps yearly but apparently they didn't know what was going on either.

This time, I made an appointment with the man who delivered me, and was my mother's doctor for years.  Since my family doctor had already done my pap for that year, and it came back abnormal, my ob/gyn decided he wanted to do an ultrasound of my reproductive system to see what was going on.  After it was done, he informed me that I had PCOS and gave me a lot of information about how it affects women of the child-bearing age and gave me some pointers of things I could do to make living with it easier.  He also recommended a book called PCOS: The Hidden Epidemic by a local reproductive endocrinologist.  I immediately purchased the book, read it cover to cover with highlighter in hand, and learned so much more about what was going on with my body.

Eventually, my ob/gyn retired after years of practicing.  I had to find a new doctor to keep a check on everything...but finding one who would live up to the great treatment I had been receiving was proving more difficult than I thought!  I eventually took the recommendation of a friend and made an appointment with a doctor who specializes in high risk pregnancies as well (in case I would become pregnant).  Upon my first visit, I filled out all of the usual paperwork and waited to be called back to the examining room.  When this doctor entered the room, he informed me that I had PCOS (DUH!!) but never once examined me, asked me any questions about if anything was bothering me, any pain...nothing!  All he asked was did I know what PCOS was?  Um, excuse me but I could probably school you in this!  Then, he sent me on my way with an appointment for blood work.  Really?  That's all I get from the guy who my FRIEND recommended?!?!?  $125 office visit bill later...still nothing I didn't know already, no help, no information..NOTHING!  I did go back for the blood work...then after those results didn't come back perfect, he wanted more.  I simply said, screw this...I'm not going to continue paying out of my pocket and never getting any answers.  So, after I paid for the services, I never went back.

After dealing with PCOS and all it's misery for about 3 years, I decided to just start going to my local health department since they based your co-pay upon income, and I didn't have health insurance.  The two times I went for paps weren't much better.  All I got was a prescription for Provera, to help me have a period.  Nothing more, nothing less.

My boyfriend and I at this point were already TTC when I went to the health department.  Since they were not helping any and pretty much could answer none of my questions, I knew it was time for a new doctor.

Fast forward a few months...and I was tired of the run around from doctors.  I decided to make an appointment with an ob/gyn who has been in our town for about 30 years now.  I mean, experience has to mean something right?  At my first appointment, he did a routine pap and then talked with me afterwards.  Since we are TTC, I was told that he would help us all he could and that we should be pregnant within 6-12 months (YAY!)  I was given Provera (to help regulate periods), Metformin (to keep my insulin resistance in check...one of those joys of PCOS..NOT!) and Aldactone for the hirsutism (google it!)  I was told they would call me with my pap results and low and behold in a few days, I got that call!  Since my pap was abnormal, he wanted to do a biopsy as well as send me for blood work.  I got the blood work done, went and had the biopsy done, and got my results within a week!  My biopsy was a little abnormal but nothing to be worried about.  I was instructed to stay on the prescriptions until my next appointment (in 6 months) and then we'd go from there.

I just went for my 6 month follow up this week.  Everything is the same but since we are not pregnant 6 months later, I am getting to try a new vitamin out for women with PCOS that helps them to become pregnant.  It's called Pregnitude, and I'll be starting it as soon as it arrives!  (Since it's a vitamin, you don't need a prescription)  All of my other prescriptions stayed the same...and unless we get pregnant before then, I don't have another appointment until February.  However, we got the all clear to keep trying!!  If unsuccessful, we'll just keep going from there until it happens.

This entire disease sucks, but the worst part is seeing every one of our friends and family members become pregnant with no issues whatsoever.  I can't begin to tell you how many times I hear "it will happen" and I just want to slap somebody across the face!  If you have never walked a mile in my shoes and you haven't been on this journey too, please don't act like you know what is going on because let's face it, YOU HAVE NO CLUE!!!  Just because you had to take fertility drugs, isn't the same!  I know some doctors will give them to you no matter what but until you have tried (unsuccessfully) for a year, then you are NOT considered to be infertile.

If you are looking for a discussion forum about PCOS, please go visit Soul Cysters and meet some of the ladies who know EXACTLY what you are going through!

More important than anything, keep your head up and do not let this disease steal your shine!

Be blessed.